Hi everyone! Happy Holidays to you all. I know it's been a bit, and I just wanted to give you an update. We have finished our adoptive parent & transracial parenting classes. We have also closed out a season of fundraising as we have entered the holiday season. Not sure exactly where we'll be going next with fundraising. Probably something in later winter/early spring.
We have been receiving some common questions from people so I'd like to use this post to address those questions for others who may be wondering:
"When is the projected date for you to receive a child?"
The specific answer to that is unknown. The general answer is hopefully Spring or Summer 2012. It is impossible to know the exact date at this point. At this time, we have officially completed our 2 series of classes. The next step is the home study, which takes about 3 months. After that you go "on profile". This means you develop a booklet-an autobiography of sorts- about yourselves which the agency will "show" to birthmothers. In essence you are sort of selling who you are and what you are about to the birthmother in hopes that you will be chosen. There is no way to know how long you will be on profile before you are chosen. Likewise, we do not know how far along in pregnancy the birthmother will be. So those are some important factors that will shape our projected placement date: when we are chosen, and how far along she is. Another factor is when we have the remainder (which is the bulk) of the money. In order to go on profile, you need to have your placement fee-by far the largest and most substantial fee- ready so that when you are chosen, you are prepared to pay it. In some cases, adoptive parents may be chosen as late as only a couple of days before the baby is due. In other cases, you may be chosen a few months ahead. The agency has shared with us different scenarios that have and may occur. We are hoping to collect those fees by late spring or early summer, which would allow us to go on profile.
In essence, the ball is mostly "in our court" right now. As early as we are ready financially we can go on profile and it is likely that we will be chosen quickly (for different reasons)
"Is it for sure that you will be getting a black baby?"
No. Is it probable? Yes. We have indicated to the agency (upon being asked) that we are open to a different race than ours. Since we did so, it is likely that is what we will receive because of the need for adoptive parents to adopt outside of their race. It is our understanding that the need for this is larger because most adoptive parents choose to adopt within their own race, leaving a gap for children of color. It is, however, a possibility we could still get a white child. We do not know. When we are chosen by a birthmother there is then a cooperative decision by the 2 parties (adoptive/birth parents) whether or not we will parent the child. Nothing is final until the papers are signed. In fact, in our state, the surrender papers can't be signed by her until 72 HOURS after the child is born.
As I've mentioned before, transracial adoption is something we are comfortable with. This IS a conscious choice we have made. It is our stance that we are happy to raise a child regardless of color. We understand not everyone agrees it is in the best interest of the child, but we believe what's MOST important is for every child to have a loving family of their own. It is our own journey; no one else's. And no one's opinion will affect our decision. We have also been well-equipped by our agency with tools, resources, and knowledge to help us raise a transracially adopted child, including the privelege of hearing from a panel of both adoptive parents and adoptees from multiracial families. This child will not only receive our lavishing love and FULL membership to our family, but an environment in which we will strive to assist that child in developing his/her own positive racial identity and positive race relations. Although there are struggles for multiracial families, we fully intend to be advocates for race relations. And, well, just go ahead and test me. Try me out and see if I defend my baby. I dare ya. ;) And for those of you who know us personally, a black baby will fit right in with our family. :) Plus, God's got our back baby.
"Will you be receiving an infant?"
As you may have already gathered, we will be adopting an infant. We have chosen domestic infant adoption. Our child will be approximately 3 days old when he/she comes home with us. It is our hope, after hearing many different placement scenarios, that we will be able to be at the hospital for the birth and be with the child as much as will be allowed until surrender papers are signed (although the legal process will take approximately 6 months to finalize). Since 3 days must pass first, sometimes the baby is placed in foster care or stays with the birthmother before being surrendered to adoptive parents. The birthmother has full rights to the child until she surrenders at 72 hrs and it is up to her how and what she wants to do. There are no guarantees. Sometimes the child does go home with the adoptive family prior to that time if both parties are very comfortable and confident in the situations, but it is a legal risk to us.
I have so much more I could talk about, as usual. There is a plethora of topics surrounding adoption that can be explored, but I conclude here with my last thought: I WANT A BABY ALREADY! ;)
Much love,
Waiting Parents
December 11, 2011
October 8, 2011
We get by with a little help from our friends.
OK! Sooooo lets carry on on a lighter note this time around, shall we? ;) Much has progressed since our announcement of adoption 2 months ago. When I first wrote in August, we had just turned in our application. Since then, we've been accepted into the program and started our adoptive parent classes. These classes will span over the next couple months. The classes are meant to help prep us for the complexities and challenges that come along with adopting. There are 2 sets of classes. One set of classes is a general adoptive parent series. The other set is a very special one. These are the ones we are taking now, the transracial series. For those of you who do not know, we are planning to adopt transracially. This means to adopt outside of your race. We are very excited about this aspect and know that it is an additional, complex layer to adopting that will bring unique challenges (& joys!) to parenting. Our agency works hard to ensure we have the tools and knowledge to help prepare for being a transracial family. I will try to touch on this more later, as I know there are different opinions about this idea and questions as well. But right now, I'll say we are very comfortable with it and h-a-p-p-y HAPPY about our decision! Following classes, the next step will be to have a home study done. We anticipate this to happen around Dec. or Jan., as long as we have the funds prepared by then.
We are pleased to share with you all that has taken place since we started. God has really made it evident that we can trust in him to provide as we walk in his obedience. And people are really stepping up. We have been busy at work on fundraisers to raise money to defray the high cost of adoption. After reading Adopt Without Debt, we explored many ideas.
The first idea we implemented was a fundraising & adoption information letter. We sent out that letter to all of our friends and family to inform them of the specifics of what we are doing and the costs involved. And we wanted to give them opportunity to support us, be it through moral support, prayers, ideas, or monetary donations, etc. *If you did not receive one & would like to, please inform me & include your address.
Next, we, along with another fellow couple who are in the adoption process, liked the idea of doing a garage sale. It was something we wanted to do but weren't sure we had much time for it before the cold weather season approached. But we were given a great opportunity to be involved in a large sale: a school fundraiser garage sale that included about 70 different sellers and a history of success with a high # of shoppers. And because of our cause, they would discount our seller fees. So we got on board and decided to take part in this sale, that we would have very little time to prepare for. We additionally planned to have a sale with our fellow adopting friends at their own house the following week. So, together, we set off to collaborate on 2 huge sales, one after another. We solicited donations of items from people through facebook, word of mouth, and flyers at various places. An ABUNDANCE of people gave. And gave. And gave. We were all "tackled" by the blessings of everyone's generosity. Literally run over. People were so eager just to be a part of this process. The willingness was overwhelming. I'm not gonna lie it was a TON of work. Hard, hard work. But the sales were very fruitful and being on the receiving end of people giving, we learned a lot about how much it means to give to someone in need. The tough news is that we had so many items donated that we just weren't able to sell it all in the 2 sales (One day at the school and a 2 day sale at our friends). Their garage is still half full of stuff. SO we are having another sale next weekend (Fri & Sat) at their house again. Hopefully, that oughta do it for the sales for now...cause they've kicked our butts! We are so incredibly grateful for everyone's donations. One of the cool things about the sale is that random strangers gave monetary donations to our 2 families. Truly, it was one of the most valuable, memorable, and incredible experiences of my life (I have a feeling there are a LOT more of those to come).
We've also begun t-shirt sales! We started up a brand name called Adopt A Vision (AV) (Copyright Jeremy & Hannah Sharpe) in order to aid in the cost of adoption. And our wonderful friend from Tulsa, OK stepped up to contribute to our cause. He designed 2 shirts for Adopt A Vision and is selling them for us on his website as well! You can find them on his store site neverquit.storenvy.com. A portion of the sales benefits our adoption. GO GET ONE to support a great cause! :)Some of you have seen our recent photos from our family shoot done by Emily Anne Photography. This FABULOUS young lady and photographer also stepped up to contribute to our cause. She donated her time to give us a free photo session so that we could have pictures we needed for the adoption process. We were able to use her photos in our fundraiser letter and also will be using them in the profile we will be creating for the agency. We were especially tickled to have these photos done because we have never had professional family photos since we got married in 2001. Even more so, they were extra special because our dog Jaxon was included in them. The photo session was actually done the day AFTER we found out about his diagnosis of cancer, and only one week before his passing. You can imagine the emotional value these pictures carry. Thank you, Emily Anne Photography.
I look forward to sharing with you our continued efforts and progress. So many have contributed in so many ways. Thank you to all.
Till next time!
Your grateful friends,
Jeremy & Hannah Sharpe
October 5, 2011
Jaxon Lee Sharpe 1.22.09-8.24.11
Oh my. Where do I even begin. There have been so many developments since I last wrote. Lots of stuff related to adoption, and unrelated as well. So many things have been on my mind to write about that it's been ovewhelming thinking about where to start. Not to mention our lives have been a whirlwind for the past 2 months. And while this blog is partly meant to update you on our adoption process, I believe it's important for me to acknowledge other significant things going on in our lives throughout this process, because it is indeed part of our journey. That's why I'm dedicating this post to our dog, Jaxon. (And well, because-like the name of the blog says-it's cathartic). So can I take you with me for a moment of interlude? No worries, much more to come about the adoption VERY soon, I just couldnt fit everything in one post. :) I've got MUCH more to talk about. But first things first, and one thing at a time, there's something that's been on my heart...
Not too long ago, in April 2009, we bought our first home, and on move-in day we welcomed a long awaited puppy into our home and into our hearts forever. An English Bulldog we named Jaxon. We waited our entire marriage (8 yrs at the time) to be able to get a dog, and specifically, to get that type of dog. Not having any children of our own, I longed to take care of something or someone. And before ya know it he absolutely, positively became the love of our lives and like our very own child. But only a couple of years later, things came to a screeching halt.
On August 24, 2011, at only 2 1/2 yrs young, we said goodbye to Jaxon. We had known something was wrong but didn't know what. In July, he began having occassional episodes where he seemed to be fainting. He would just fall over. The vet told us just to watch and see if it happened again and to bring him back if it did. It did. So we returned. Not knowing what the problem was, they decided to perform a blood test to find out what was wrong. At first they "suspected" cancer, but weren't sure. We were panicked. I started researching it, and found out that the prognosis was very grave. But they got a second opinion, from a specialist at U of I who, upon review of the results, doubted it to be cancer. We were relieved but they wanted us to test again and have it sent there officially so they could take a look at the blood themselves & confirm whether it was cancer or not. In the meantime they tested him for a couple other potential health problems, trying to rule anything else out, and those turned out to be negative. So moving forward in our quest, we went ahead & had his blood sent to U of I. They officially confirmed lymphoma with a grave prognosis; she thought he had only 4-6 months left to live. She told us he was so far along in the stages, that chemotherapy wouldn't really do any good to lengthen his life. And of course, the cost is insane anyway. Our only option was to give him meds to help him be comfortable and see how he responded to them. They said there was a chance that it could lengthen his life by a few months. So we were looking at up to about 9 months tops. So we began the meds, but his condition quickly declined. He was having seizures & fainting regularly, up to a few times a day. He was often losing his bladder control as well, and vomitting regularly. And he was just plain sick and tired. He was so weak we had to carry him outside to try to get him to go potty. We quickly learned his time was shorter than we thought. Just a few days later when we updated the dr, she decided he was a lot further along than she initially thought and then gave him only a few weeks to live. As you can imagine, this was all very shocking. We couldn't believe what was happening and I was crying often, watching him suffer, not wanting him to suffer, and coming to terms with the fact that there was nothing we could do and we were going to have to let him go. Even though he sat right there beside me, I missed him so. I couldn't stand the idea that he would no longer be with us. For some reason it was unbearable. I felt as though he was my child. Jeremy & I had looked forward to getting him for several years beforehand and the day we got him, he was our dream come true. But with his condition quickly worsening, we knew what we had to do. And with only one short week passing after officially learning of the cancer, we took him to the vet where he was euthanized. We stayed with him every step of the way. They encouraged us to keep talking to him and in a sense, we rooted him on, telling him how much we loved him and how he was a good doggy. We told him we were right there with him. We told him it's ok as his head dropped, his body became still, and then lifeless.
Only 1 month and a week later, it's still as fresh as ever. I miss him everyday, and I cry almost everyday thinking of him. I've longed just to touch him again and see his beautiful face. I'm still very emotional about it, and it strikes me at any time of the day. In the beginning, there were many a nights that I would sob uncontrollably as I lay in bed. My lovely husband has held me each and every one of those times. Frankly, its been shocking to discover just how difficult this is to go through. Even though he's "only a dog", my heart has never known an ache like this before. To be honest, I've never lost a loved one. And Jaxon WAS my loved one. He was so much a part of our daily lives. We took him everywhere. He LOVED going for car rides. He loved to wrestle with his daddy. He loved to play laser tag. He loved to give kisses. He was the sweetest and most stubborn thing in the world (much like his momma! Lol). Jaxon brought MUCH joy to our lives. He will always be a dream come true, and remain a dream in our hearts. It's actually been amazing having friends and family pull together for us and be completely empathetic and supportive. So many prayed us through this process, standing along side us. Thank you. You have no idea how much it has meant. We will never forget. And now that I've realized just how hard this loss is, I know how I can be of support to others going through such things.
Jaxon, we love you. We will never lose your place in our hearts. Thank you.
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| Pick up day April 2009 |
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| In loving memory of Jaxon Lee Sharpe |
August 10, 2011
The Beginnings of an Adoption 8/10/11
We are SO excited. God is doing big things. We have been waiting for what seems a lifetime for our journey to having a child to begin (that's a WHOLE 'nother story!). NOW IS THE TIME. For those of you who don't know, we have been waiting patiently on God for the right time to begin the adoption process. It's something we have always considered, but over the last year it has become something we have become emotionally ready for. Things have been stirring lately, and are beginning to fall into place.
We met Pam, a social worker at an adoption agency, just a few short months ago through a church we started attending last year. We have developed a friendship, and she has been educating us and encouraging us along in the pre-adoption stages, reliably informing us of any details or pertinent info. We have some other friends who have also been interested in adoption, and they invited us along to go to an informational meeting at that agency a couple months ago. Although we had been thinking about it, we weren't sure we were ready quite yet, but ultimately decided it couldn't hurt to go ahead and just find out some information. The meeting was very informational & made things feel so real. Even though it was hard emotionally to be there (because it reminds you of your inability to have a baby), we were happy to look forward to the next steps and find out exactly what we needed to do. It was there that we began to learn exactly what course and what type of adoption we would be taking part in. And we decided we wanted to have a baby by next year. That would mean we'd need to start the process this year...soon.
But, being that adoption is extremely costly, we have been hesitant to turn our application in, knowing we do NOT have all the money yet that it will ultimately take. You don't have to have all the money up front, but we knew it would take us a while to have the final large payment that is due when your child is placed in your home. So it's a bit hard to go forward with something you don't have the money for! We entertained the idea of getting an adoption loan to cover some of the cost, but we didn't feel a peace about that. We have been working diligently on getting out of debt for the past couple of years and feel strongly about not creating more. In the past 2 months, we've just been waiting. All the while, Pam would gently nudge us along here & there, keeping us posted. In the meantime, God was working on our hearts! I cry just thinking about it. I grew up in church, my parents have been in the ministry & have both been to Bible School. So I got to reap the benefits of their knowledge of the Word. I feel like I have a pretty good grip on His word. But, OH MY, God has a way of revealing things to you through his scripture in a timely way! Even after you've read something a hundred times throughout your life, it can become newly applicable! Recently God has been laying scripture after scripture on our hearts regarding trust in Him and patiently waiting for his promises to pass (a collection of them!). That's what Abraham & Sarah, along with many others did (Heb. 6:12-15). And we received a sermon on cd from Keith Moore Ministries just yesterday talking about not putting things off that we feel are right to do. An excerpt from the letter we received with the cd called "Trust Him":
"Watch about putting everything off into the future, or you could miss some once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. When you sense that something is right to do, rearrange your schedule, believe for the money, do whatever it takes, and don't delay. Live today so that you'll have no regrets tomorrow. Psalm 34:8 says "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him". Having faith in God is trusting Him."
This letter was so relevant and confirming for us.
Also, last week our fellow "adoption" friends so kindly gave us a book called Adopt Without Debt. The book was a God-send, full of great information that met us right where we are at. We felt like the author's story could be ours because things sounded so similar to our situation. It gave us hope, and lots of ideas we plan to use to help fund our adoption.
Then, just yesterday, Pam told us there were only a couple spots left in a class we would have to get in in order to adopt in the time frame we wanted, & that would require us getting our app in asap. So, we decided... it was TIME! (Note that we did not feel any pressure from Pam). We told her "Count us in!" So here we are. We've arrived. We're ready to trust in him to provide his promises. Our application for adoption is complete and will be handed in tomorrow.
We plan to blog about our journey and keep everyone posted and involved...
Till next time!
Eagerly but patiently waiting,
The Sharpes
See also Heb 6: 12-15; 11:11; Psalm 37:3-5; Philipians 1:6; Prov 19:21
We met Pam, a social worker at an adoption agency, just a few short months ago through a church we started attending last year. We have developed a friendship, and she has been educating us and encouraging us along in the pre-adoption stages, reliably informing us of any details or pertinent info. We have some other friends who have also been interested in adoption, and they invited us along to go to an informational meeting at that agency a couple months ago. Although we had been thinking about it, we weren't sure we were ready quite yet, but ultimately decided it couldn't hurt to go ahead and just find out some information. The meeting was very informational & made things feel so real. Even though it was hard emotionally to be there (because it reminds you of your inability to have a baby), we were happy to look forward to the next steps and find out exactly what we needed to do. It was there that we began to learn exactly what course and what type of adoption we would be taking part in. And we decided we wanted to have a baby by next year. That would mean we'd need to start the process this year...soon.
But, being that adoption is extremely costly, we have been hesitant to turn our application in, knowing we do NOT have all the money yet that it will ultimately take. You don't have to have all the money up front, but we knew it would take us a while to have the final large payment that is due when your child is placed in your home. So it's a bit hard to go forward with something you don't have the money for! We entertained the idea of getting an adoption loan to cover some of the cost, but we didn't feel a peace about that. We have been working diligently on getting out of debt for the past couple of years and feel strongly about not creating more. In the past 2 months, we've just been waiting. All the while, Pam would gently nudge us along here & there, keeping us posted. In the meantime, God was working on our hearts! I cry just thinking about it. I grew up in church, my parents have been in the ministry & have both been to Bible School. So I got to reap the benefits of their knowledge of the Word. I feel like I have a pretty good grip on His word. But, OH MY, God has a way of revealing things to you through his scripture in a timely way! Even after you've read something a hundred times throughout your life, it can become newly applicable! Recently God has been laying scripture after scripture on our hearts regarding trust in Him and patiently waiting for his promises to pass (a collection of them!). That's what Abraham & Sarah, along with many others did (Heb. 6:12-15). And we received a sermon on cd from Keith Moore Ministries just yesterday talking about not putting things off that we feel are right to do. An excerpt from the letter we received with the cd called "Trust Him":
"Watch about putting everything off into the future, or you could miss some once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. When you sense that something is right to do, rearrange your schedule, believe for the money, do whatever it takes, and don't delay. Live today so that you'll have no regrets tomorrow. Psalm 34:8 says "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him". Having faith in God is trusting Him."
This letter was so relevant and confirming for us.
Also, last week our fellow "adoption" friends so kindly gave us a book called Adopt Without Debt. The book was a God-send, full of great information that met us right where we are at. We felt like the author's story could be ours because things sounded so similar to our situation. It gave us hope, and lots of ideas we plan to use to help fund our adoption.
Then, just yesterday, Pam told us there were only a couple spots left in a class we would have to get in in order to adopt in the time frame we wanted, & that would require us getting our app in asap. So, we decided... it was TIME! (Note that we did not feel any pressure from Pam). We told her "Count us in!" So here we are. We've arrived. We're ready to trust in him to provide his promises. Our application for adoption is complete and will be handed in tomorrow.
We plan to blog about our journey and keep everyone posted and involved...
Till next time!
Eagerly but patiently waiting,
The Sharpes
See also Heb 6: 12-15; 11:11; Psalm 37:3-5; Philipians 1:6; Prov 19:21
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