Hi everyone! Happy Holidays to you all. I know it's been a bit, and I just wanted to give you an update. We have finished our adoptive parent & transracial parenting classes. We have also closed out a season of fundraising as we have entered the holiday season. Not sure exactly where we'll be going next with fundraising. Probably something in later winter/early spring.
We have been receiving some common questions from people so I'd like to use this post to address those questions for others who may be wondering:
"When is the projected date for you to receive a child?"
The specific answer to that is unknown. The general answer is hopefully Spring or Summer 2012. It is impossible to know the exact date at this point. At this time, we have officially completed our 2 series of classes. The next step is the home study, which takes about 3 months. After that you go "on profile". This means you develop a booklet-an autobiography of sorts- about yourselves which the agency will "show" to birthmothers. In essence you are sort of selling who you are and what you are about to the birthmother in hopes that you will be chosen. There is no way to know how long you will be on profile before you are chosen. Likewise, we do not know how far along in pregnancy the birthmother will be. So those are some important factors that will shape our projected placement date: when we are chosen, and how far along she is. Another factor is when we have the remainder (which is the bulk) of the money. In order to go on profile, you need to have your placement fee-by far the largest and most substantial fee- ready so that when you are chosen, you are prepared to pay it. In some cases, adoptive parents may be chosen as late as only a couple of days before the baby is due. In other cases, you may be chosen a few months ahead. The agency has shared with us different scenarios that have and may occur. We are hoping to collect those fees by late spring or early summer, which would allow us to go on profile.
In essence, the ball is mostly "in our court" right now. As early as we are ready financially we can go on profile and it is likely that we will be chosen quickly (for different reasons)
"Is it for sure that you will be getting a black baby?"
No. Is it probable? Yes. We have indicated to the agency (upon being asked) that we are open to a different race than ours. Since we did so, it is likely that is what we will receive because of the need for adoptive parents to adopt outside of their race. It is our understanding that the need for this is larger because most adoptive parents choose to adopt within their own race, leaving a gap for children of color. It is, however, a possibility we could still get a white child. We do not know. When we are chosen by a birthmother there is then a cooperative decision by the 2 parties (adoptive/birth parents) whether or not we will parent the child. Nothing is final until the papers are signed. In fact, in our state, the surrender papers can't be signed by her until 72 HOURS after the child is born.
As I've mentioned before, transracial adoption is something we are comfortable with. This IS a conscious choice we have made. It is our stance that we are happy to raise a child regardless of color. We understand not everyone agrees it is in the best interest of the child, but we believe what's MOST important is for every child to have a loving family of their own. It is our own journey; no one else's. And no one's opinion will affect our decision. We have also been well-equipped by our agency with tools, resources, and knowledge to help us raise a transracially adopted child, including the privelege of hearing from a panel of both adoptive parents and adoptees from multiracial families. This child will not only receive our lavishing love and FULL membership to our family, but an environment in which we will strive to assist that child in developing his/her own positive racial identity and positive race relations. Although there are struggles for multiracial families, we fully intend to be advocates for race relations. And, well, just go ahead and test me. Try me out and see if I defend my baby. I dare ya. ;) And for those of you who know us personally, a black baby will fit right in with our family. :) Plus, God's got our back baby.
"Will you be receiving an infant?"
As you may have already gathered, we will be adopting an infant. We have chosen domestic infant adoption. Our child will be approximately 3 days old when he/she comes home with us. It is our hope, after hearing many different placement scenarios, that we will be able to be at the hospital for the birth and be with the child as much as will be allowed until surrender papers are signed (although the legal process will take approximately 6 months to finalize). Since 3 days must pass first, sometimes the baby is placed in foster care or stays with the birthmother before being surrendered to adoptive parents. The birthmother has full rights to the child until she surrenders at 72 hrs and it is up to her how and what she wants to do. There are no guarantees. Sometimes the child does go home with the adoptive family prior to that time if both parties are very comfortable and confident in the situations, but it is a legal risk to us.
I have so much more I could talk about, as usual. There is a plethora of topics surrounding adoption that can be explored, but I conclude here with my last thought: I WANT A BABY ALREADY! ;)
Much love,
Waiting Parents
